Repost from a blog comment....

I think SnapShots are a real good argument against the existence of God. What kind of loving God would allow a programmer to create such an annoying widget? Am I supposed to be thankful for that? Not that I am judging the script kiddy - I thought a little preview window of the page beyond the link was a great idea back in 1998. Of course I also believed in Hell in '98. Turns out I was believing in the same thing.

Otherwise, thanks for the site from an ex-pentecostal, ex-apologist, ex-missionary, ex-believer. It has been quite a journey. The psychological impact, and therefore the day-to-day life impact, of these beliefs have been devestating to me personally.

I began dismantling my faith about 10 years ago during my missionary years after a gung-ho spiritual giant recruited me and my wife to join them on a mission to reach a people group half way around the world in a very dangerous place, then he (in)explicably discovered a new leading from the Lord to go back to the cozy US just a few months after arriving in said location, and left us there. (Don't accuse me of bitterness, I'm not. I still love the guy and consider him a friend. Just human like me.)

I had seen this kind of convienient "leading" for years in the mission, but this instance gave me serious pause. I had already long before jettisoned my Pentecostalism, and End-Times theology, and Young Earth creationism which put me in a no-mans land of belief/non-belief.

I still held to the core of the faith: Hebrew God, Jesus, Hell, Salvation. That began to unravel back in 2001 during the breakup of my marriage (which has since reconciled as is better than ever thank you - despite the fact that one of my personal therapies was to "pray" in the "F"-word, and call that diety I had served every vile name in the book).

The real tipping point was when I realized that "The God I Knew" as I began to call him, was destroying my life. In short I discovered that I was unable to find success or achieve in anything because that meant aspiring or wanting something more than I had, and that, the God-I-Knew, told me was ungodly. So to even strive to have anything beyond mere survival was FIGHTING against his will. I was in a no win situation.

I realized that this deep mental programming was a problem and began an aggressive campaign to silence the voice of the "God I knew". I still held to the hope of a God who really is God, asked him to show up. He didn't. Which left me pretty much godless - and able to think critically about the whole god idea.

Finding sites like yours is helpful, not only reading others who have traveled similar paths, but also finding the tools to strip away the intricate layers of belief that still infuse and influence my thinking. The journey continues, but now it is turning from purging false beliefs into, to borrow from a Believer..... How Should We then Live?