What if God were real.

A stunning post in answer to that question by kcrady on wwgha:

Re: What if God was Real?
« Reply #67 on: May 13, 2007, 03:26:52 AM »

I presume you're referring to the Biblegod. The specifics of what I'd do depend on the circumstances under which his existence is revealed.

The first and most important thing to note is that, despite all of his Mighty Oz boasts, the Biblegod is not omnipotent, as we can tell from his actions. Despite his being "with" the armies of Judah, they still got pwned by guys with chariots (Judges 1:19). Jacob was able to wrestle with him and "prevail." He is portrayed being worried about the scientific and techological prowess represented by a mud-brick ziggurat (Genesis 11), and saying, "Nothing they (humans) conceive in their hearts shall be impossible for them" (v. 6).

Jesus promised that he would return 'soon,' that the High Priest Caiaphas would see him coming in the clouds, that "some now standing here" (i.e. his disciples and audience) would see the Second Coming. Obviously, the wheels fell off somewhere along the line.

The most parsimonious answer (pretending for the moment that the Biblegod does exist) is that the Serpent defeated him by the simplest strategy imaginable: doing nothing. A malignant narcissist, surrounded by yes-men, the Biblegod got a bee in his bonnet to "declare the end from the beginning" and tell us in his 'inerrant Word' how the world was to end. In a sterling example of psychological projection, he declares that the Serpent must have the same ends as he does--the establishment of a global theocratic dictatorship. So he proclaims that the Serpent must do a Jesus re-enactment (the beast's head that was slain and restored to life), then set out to conquer the world and brutally persecute all who do not worship him. Then, Jesus would return at the head of his horse cavalry, conquer the world, and brutally persecute all who do not worship him.

But the Serpent/King of Tyre (Ezekiel 28) has other plans, namely the liberation of humanity and their ascent to divinity. Since the Biblegod in his hubris preconditioned his return on the notion that the Serpent would imitate him, all the Serpent had to do was refrain from doing so. Yahweh was bound by his own spell, and humanity set free to continue that technological advance Yahweh was so scared of.

So a case could be made that Yahweh has already been beaten at the (non-) Battle of Armageddon. If he does manage to break out of the trap he built for himself, he and his horse cavalry will be up against supersonic jet aircraft, precision-guided munitions, and motorized armor. Even with his magic powers, he's in for an unpleasant surprise.

His giant Borg cube/jewelry box could represent a significant threat on account of its (most likely metaphorical) size, but we have telescopes that can spot something that big and shiny from a long way off, and tens of thousands of nuclear weapons. With enough advance warning, we'll have time to build an 8 million ton Orion space battlecruiser loaded to the gills with every nasty toy Earth's military-industrial complexes can imagine and meet him in space. If he's held up long enough, we might be able to just eat him with swarms of submicroscopic nanoassemblers.

By his own prophecy, he can't even bring that into play until he gets to the end of his script, and the Serpent can stop him from getting there by refusing to play the role appointed to him. Perhaps that's why Yahweh's followers in all three of his religions seem so desperate to start a cataclysmic war in the Middle East. Anything to break the Dark Lord out of the box he locked himself into!

Of course he may never be able to break his own spell, since Caiaphas, his disciples, and "this generation" (the people of Jesus' time) are all dead. The prophecies of Revelation cannot be fulfilled as spoken.

Another thing you believers ought to think about a little is how Yahweh continually refers to you as agricultural commodities. You are "the sheep of his flock," the "wheat" of his field, the fruit of his vine, etc., that upon his return you will be "harvested." Have you ever considered the possibility that he might actually mean it? Sure, he promises you eternal bliss in Heaven, but that may just be a lure, like the little bioluminescent sparkly an angler fish waves in front of its mouth. Maybe if you're good, you'll be eaten last.

He might not just gulp you down though, maybe he'll keep you around to feed off you like a psychic vampire, lapping up your fear, praises, worship, and attention. Like a vampire, he has promised you immortality if you drink his blood and eat his flesh, making yourselves profiteers on Jesus' brutal torture-sacrifice, transforming you into blood-obsessed, blood-drinking vampires in his image ("power in the bloood, power in the blooood, power in the blood of the Lamb!"). He promises to Assimilate you into his "Body" and you will become drones chanting his praises forever.

If you're lucky, we'll destroy your evil master and save you from that fate.
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If there's no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole...
Doesn't that mean that war would be impossible without religion?
--kcrady