Testimony of Pleasure without God

I posted this in the comments over at Minister Turns Athiest:

I know this is a few months late, but I have to giver my testimony in responds to living_in_grace:

You can do all you want but you'll never find pleasure without God. ...and all subsequent reiterations and expandations (hehe) of that idea.

Finding pleasure. Happiness. Simple enjoyment of life, family, things. That was a dream. Not much to ask. Certainly the promise of Christianity. Even if it couldn't deliver healing, or abundance, or keep more marriages together than among the heathen, we had the promise of joy through all the chaos everyone was experiencing. Right?

That was not my experience. After 20 years of being in the ministry, I lived in such chronic depression that I could enjoy nothing. Sadly my ever supportive, long-suffering and very pious parents could not enjoy anytime with me or my family, due to the depression, and they took it personally.

One day the depression magically disappeared. I had hope. Happiness. A future. And for the first time in years could enjoying hanging out and being normal to my parents.

That was the day I realized God/YHWH/Jehovah/Elohim/The Father does not exist (nor does his little son Jesus).

There is no anger or rage or rebellion associated with it. Just a profound sense of liberty. Like a man unchained. It isn't just being free to do what I want (no one can do that) it is free to do anything without guilt, or fear.

I know you cannot help but reject these notions and experiences, since they do not fit with what you have been told and what you believe you have experienced (one experiences what one is told they will experience, if they want to experience it, and if one doesn't experience it or experience it when they really really need it, there is an explanation - not enough faith, or not God's will). And you must agree that this experience of pleasure is the same for both of us. Mine from the recognition of a God who isn't there and yours from the belief in a God who is invisible, and exists in your experience only in the mental images, feelings and internal sounds created by the words and meanings passed down in a book. One billion Muslims prove that providing you with an alternate book and accompanying authoritative interpreters at the formative times in your life produces the same internal certainty of the Islamic god. I'm not saying that it would be very easy for you to be less certain and extend the possibility that another view and value system may be right, I just know what I know, and I find pleasure in that.